Monday, February 22, 2010

Maiden Blog


I would first like to mention that I am beginning this blog as a college project. A college project that I am really late getting started on. I'm trying not to worry about that right now though. Procrastination is the rest state of the collegiate population. It is our alpha and our omega. Our destruction and our salvation. It is 3 AM. It is an entire bag of Oreos. I could keep going. How long before this gets old?
I really could keep going. I need to fill up space for the aforementioned college project:

"Reflective Project: 15% - This is an arena for your self-constructions and reflections on these constructions. You should contribute to it every few days. This is meant to be a place for you to explore different writing styles and modes (such as informal, free-form writing) as well as creative approaches to expressing yourself..."

Did you catch that part? 15%. Self-constructions and reflections on these constructions. I take that to mean that I need to figure out who I think I am and think about how I feel about who I think I am. I did the "..." but it goes on. It says how I can use pretty much any kind of media I want for my self-expression. I have decided to blog.

Why blogging you might ask? Exactly that! So I can say stuff like "why you might ask?" so I don't feel like I'm just writing this to see myself think. There is a certain kind of validation that comes from projecting my thoughts to the world. I feel like maybe someone out there KNOWS. They KNOW exactly what I'm talking about. They will read my words and say, "Finally, someone else gets it!"

Or maybe the opposite. Someone out there is like, "This is bullsh*t." That is also good. That keeps me modest even while I think I'm such a genius writing this amazingly awesome stuff. Also, it's easier to tell strangers who I am than it is to tell people that I know who I am. This might all be ruined actually if someone I know reads it. People I know can form opinions about me that actually matter. I really could care less what strangers think. I don't ever have to see them. Don't ever have to look into their faces and wonder what they're thinking of me.

Also, I hate writing with pens and pencils in bound-books. My hand cramps, my arm burns. I get upset with the shape of my lettering. That "a" is not perfectly executed. I must erase and begin again. Or I find myself desperately needing to delete something I just wrote from existence. If it's written in pen I have to scratch it out and then it's still there, lurking, taunting me beneath the ink. If it's in pencil I can erase it, sure, but not completely! It lingers oh how it lingers. That is why this method is best. I can erase anything so quick. Whole paragraphs can disappear. Too perfect. Or I can go back through and make small adjustments. Dainty tweaks to make everything exactly the way I want it. Yes.

Also, the Internet is permanent. I could lose a book to anything! Fires, floods, theft(?), bears! But anything I send into the vast oscillating network of the Internet is basically forever. If you just know the right words to type into Google you can find anything you have lost as long as the website wasn't deleted.

Then there is the fact that I am a fantastic typist. I do not finger-poke. I can type much faster than I could ever write. Thus, my thoughts can so much more readily be transferred to this tangible state. And my fingers do not easily tire when they are effortlessly punching down black keys with neat white letters.

Have I had any meaningful self-constructions or reflections on those self-constructions yet? I don't know. I'm trying. I really I am. I feel like explaining all this stuff helps pinpoint what kind of person I am. The fact that I feel the need to explain it all also probably says something. You be the judge.

I will end now. I think this is a good first blog. Yeah, it's sufficient. It gets things started. Puts stuff in motion. Maybe it's just decent. I don't know. There are things on other tabs that I would like to attend to. Also, I don't want to have too many diverse topics in these blogs. Oh, in case you didn't notice, I break up my thoughts with spaces so that you don't get tired. Your eyes can rest in my spaces. No big blocks of text here. You're welcome.


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